There's No Incident Like an International Incident

So I got my sister to send me some beef jerky from the USA a couple of weeks ago. The package took a long time to get here and it made me wonder what was happening. As it turns out, jerky cannot be mailed into the country. I violated the import laws of the European Union. The entire EU vs my beef jerky. Needless to say, my jerky lost. What's more, I have to pay 996 crowns to have them destroy my jerky and deliver the rest of the package to me. How in the world does it cost fifty US dollars to throw beef jerky in a trash can?

Who would have thought that beef jerky would cause an international incident?

I can just see in my head the Czech postal workers sitting back with their feet up in the desk eating my beef jerky. "Vyborna!" (Excellent) they exclaim as they steadily devour the tasty meat snack intended for me and a couple of students.

The really scary part? Another friend just mailed us some Girl Scout cookies. I shudder to think of the ramifications of importing Samoas or Tagalongs could be. Maybe I'll just run across the Charles Bridge like Tom Cruise did in Mission:Impossible on my way to
Finding sanctuary at the US embassy.

This will be the cause of world war three. In the history books, years from now, school children will refer to this day as the Jerky Incident or the Beef Jerky Contra Affair. Who needs to assassinate an archduke or bomb a military base to start a war? Certainly not me. I'll just use beef jerky.