Gentle Reminders

Gentle Reminders

I have two conversation partners that I meet with once a week for about an hour. Our conversations are about various topics with the simple purpose of practicing English.

I was talking about body image with one of my conversation partners a few weeks ago.  We were talking about how so many girls determine their self worth based on what they look like. This seems to be a universal problem found in every culture. It was very interesting to hear the frustration of another person trying to constantly be the positive reinforcer amongst friends that struggle mightily with body image. I kept hearing something like, “It gets tiresome repeating the same mantra, you are beautiful, you do matter, you don't have to look perfect, etc over and over to the same people who either don't believe it or choose to focus on the negative in every aspect of life.”  

It’s not humanly possible to be someone else’s source of hope and self esteem. We weren’t meant to be.

Toward the end of the conversation I was able to present my point of view on the whole issue. I was overjoyed to share that my self worth doesn’t come from any human relationship and isn't based on how I look on a daily basis. My worth comes from my relationship with God through Jesus Christ. People come and go in and out of our lives but God is always there. His opinion of me doesn't change based on whether I appear to be “good enough”.

I decided to use the analogy of marriage to drive home my point since I could see that this was a difficult concept to grasp. In human terms, we get married because we love someone and because they love us. In a healthy relationship we marry someone who accepts us for who we are. We wouldn't marry someone who insisted on making a list of things we had to change before agreeing to marriage. The same is true of God. He doesn't expect us to change and then have a relationship with Him. He accepts our faults, our failures, our sins and says “I want a relationship with you”.  

After being married for a few years, pieces of you begin to change. You don't change because it’s a requirement or a chore, but because it’s a natural progression. You're not a completely different person, but you are more understanding, less selfish, more forgiving, more loving, because you are more in love. The same is true in a relationship with God. The more you know Him and His love for you, the more you change. Not because you have to, but because you no longer want or need the things you thought you wanted or needed.  Love changes you for the better.

The difference between a human relationship and God is that God never leaves us and His love for us never changes. We change and grow closer to God but God loves us the same throughout our relationship. This is a promise that we can hold on to. God accepts me because Jesus Christ died for me. Jesus took my shame, failures, past, present, and future wrongs so that God would accept and love me for who I am right now. That is where I find my self worth. It’s in Jesus. Hollywood, magazines, friends, death, and other human relationships can’t change or take that away from me.  What an amazing truth!!

This brings me to the point of my blog. A few days after this conversation, I decided to get a haircut. I’ve gotten my hair cut in Prague several times. The place that I go is always the same. I can count on the fact that whoever cuts my hair won't speak more than about two words of English. I took an example picture for the stylist like I usually do since that's worked well for me in the past.

I did want a shorter haircut but what I got looked nothing like the picture that I brought.  My immediate reaction was “What have I done?” “It’s so short!” “I hate it, it’s so ugly.”  About the time I was beginning to really feel sorry for myself, I could hear that still small voice: “Remember, your self worth isn't found in your hair."

I’m so grateful for the conversation that I had had just three days prior to my haircut.  I couldn't help but think about how I would have reacted to the same situation even just a few years ago.  Such a small thing but what a great reminder of how my thoughts and life have been transformed through my relationship with God.